Halloween Discussion Forums, Costumes, Horror!

Here's a few: As I was, you are now, as I am, you shall be
Help! I'm dead and I can't get up
Rig. R. Mortis
Will B. Back
Al B. Back
Miss N. Cranium
Rest in Pieces
Ima Maggot
Phil McGravin
Ilene D. Overacliff
I.B. Rotten
B.A. Fraid
Will B. Rison, Ben Moanin, Mona Lott, Will U. Joynme

Here lies Racing Car Drake.
He stepped on the gas
Instead of the brake.

Here lies Slow Fred
A tree limb broke and
landed on his head.

Hre Lies Little Miss Jill,
Who Mistook a cyanide pellet
for a birth controll pill.

Here lies Dare Devil Pete,
who wore a blind fold
while crossing the street.

Here lies lit up Spence,
who urinated on
the electric fence.

Here lies Mr. Oscar Meyer
who was roated over
an open fire.

Here Lies Broken Up Reiker
who said the wrong thing
to an Outlaw Biker

Here lies hungry Diana,
who died after eating
a poisened bananna.

I hope some of these will work for you.

Mike

Good ones lol. Here's one

"Guy who said Chuck Norris couldn't count to infinity" Twice

There are lots of great "silly" epitaphs as well as real ones to choose from.

If you go to google.com and type in "funny epitaph" you'll get a lot of hits.

Here are some fun ones:

Here lies the body of our Anna
Done to death by a banana
It wasn't the fruit that laid her low
But the skin of the thing that made her go.

Here lies Ann Mann,
Who lived an old maid
But died an old Mann

Effie Jean Robinson
1897-1922
Come blooming youths, as you pass by ,
And on these lines do cast an eye.
As you are now, so once was I;
As I am now, so must you be;
Prepare for death and follow me.

He was young
He was fair
But the Injuns
Raised his hair

Here lies a man named Zeke.
Second fastest draw in Cripple Creek.

He called
Bill Smith
A Liar

Here lies the body of
Thomas Kemp.
Who lived by wool
and died by hemp.

Here lies the body
Of Margaret Bent
She kicked up her heels
And away she went.

He got a fish-bone in his throat
and then he sang an angel note.

She was not smart, she was not fair,
But hearts with grief for her are swellin';
All empty stands her little chair:
She died of eatin' water-mellon.

Rebecca Freeland
1741
She drank good ale,
good punch and wine
And lived to the age of 99.

Here lie the bones of Joseph Jones
Who ate while he was able.
But once overfed, he dropt down dead
And fell beneath the table.
When from the tomb, to meet his doom,
He arises amidst sinners.
Since he must dwell in heaven or hell,
Take him - whichever gives the best dinners.

Robert Phillip, gravedigger:
Here I lie at the Chancel door;
Here lie I because I am poor;
The farther in the more you pay;
Here I lie as warm as they.

G. Winch, the brewer, lies buried here.
In life he was both hale and stout.
Death brought him to his bitter bier.
Now in heaven he hops about.

Jedediah Goodwin
Auctioneer
Born 1828
Going!
Going!!
Gone!!!
1876

Here lies Barnard Lightfoot
Who was accidentally killed
in the 45th year of his age.
This monument was erected
by his grateful family.

Here lies the body of
Thomas Vernon
The only surviving son of
Admiral Vernon

This Empty Urn is
Sacred to the Memory
of John Revere
Who Died Abroad
in Finistere:
If He Had Lived
He Would Have Been
Buried Here.

Sacred to the memory of
My husband
John Barnes
Who died January 3, 1803.
His comely young widow, aged 23,
has many qualifications of a good wife,
and yearns to be comforted.

Here lies
Elizabeth,
my wife for 47 years,
and this is the first damn thing
she ever done to oblige me.

This stone was raised by Sara's Lord
Not Sara's virtues to record
For they are known to all the town.
This stone was raised to keep her down.

Here lies the body of poor Aunt Charlotte.
Born a virgin, died a harlot.
For 16 years she kept her virginity
A damn'd long time for this vicinity.

Harry Edsel Smith
Born 1903 - Died 1942
Looked up the elevator shaft
to see if the car
was on the way down.
It was.

First a Cough
Carried Me Off
Then a Coffin
They Carried Me Off In

Blown upward
out of sight:
He sought the leak
by candlelight

His foot is slipt
and he did fall.
"Help; Help" he cried
and that was all.

Once I wasn't
Then I was
Now I ain't again.

Here lies Ned.
There is nothing more to be said --
Because we like to speak well of the dead.

I came into this world
Without my consent
And left in the same manner.

Those are pretty good, too. I especialy liked the "Ann Mann" epatath.

Mike

I liked the ones that were on your pictures TK. Like the one about chasing the bear into a cave. And "See? I told you I was sick!"

You might use the limerick from "Jaws". I'll paraphrase.
"Here lies the body of Mary Lee
Died at the age of 103
For 15 years she kept her virginity
Not a bad record for this vicinity"
Or some such.

Corvus Kulde wrote:You might use the limerick from "Jaws". I'll paraphrase.
"Here lies the body of Mary Lee
Died at the age of 103
For 15 years she kept her virginity
Not a bad record for this vicinity"
Or some such.

you got it exact;y right, thats actually a real epitaph from a stone in Ireland. Are you a JAWS fan??

one year for our Halloween party we made tombstones with the guests name on it and a death date, my boss's even had a little smart a$$ comment I dont remember but they were a big hit and we gave the guests their stones when they left....

LMAO these are fantastic and in good time too!! i was in need of some good ideas

Am I a Jaws fan?

Love it. I get the urge to watch it about once a month give or take. I get the urge to watch a movie... in the shape... of a giant shark.
I always look at the extras on the beach and think it must have been great to live in a time when one could be so hairy and unkempt and still be in the majority of beach-goers.

Corvus Kulde wrote:Am I a Jaws fan?

Love it. I get the urge to watch it about once a month give or take. I get the urge to watch a movie... in the shape... of a giant shark.
I always look at the extras on the beach and think it must have been great to live in a time when one could be so hairy and unkempt and still be in the majority of beach-goers.

if your interested come join us JAWS nuts at the Operation Orca forum
http://www.createforum.com/operationorc ... rationorca

Thank you spookymufu. I shall.

so yea.. .i really appreciate this thread now i used a couple for my grave yard

Cool.